Maintaining a Blog is Hard
This is Tauriel - our 3rd Bengal Kitten...
(the pic has nothing to do with the blog - except for the fact that I didn't get her because I needed her, simply because I wanted her and because I don't care what 'anyone else' thinks :)
If you have never written and maintained a blog you can't truly appreciate how much work is involved. I find myself having these amazing ideas to blog about but then miss the opportunity and forget when I finally have the time. I sometimes, well often really, want to be able to be more free with my writing. Saying what I really think, talk about all the things that go on in my life - you know the nitty gritty stuff. Yes, I know that would tweak the interest of some - all the voyeurs out there - but its just not always possible to spill ALL the beans. There are confidentiality issues etc etc...
I have been a little stagnant with my blogging of late, I mean life is just too damn busy for me to get a chance to stop and be myself for a while. The truth is I love the opportunity to write a good blog, I guess it's debatable if I am ever successful at that. But I like to give it a go, and I love to get 'some of the crap' out. I feel I am always fairly careful with exactly how I put things, revealing much, but with very little. Sometimes I wonder if that is the right way of going about things. I envy those blogs that appear to be totally honest, although the blogger would definitely have to deal with 'haters' and 'negative trolls' it must be great to just get it out there. Although there are some that are just too brutal with their 'honesty' so much so that I wonder if causing controversy is just what they are truly looking for. It makes me wonder at times, just how honest it is... Perhaps as 'honest' and 'real' as reality TV shows! Hmmm
The other problem with my blog is that it doesn't neatly fit into any particular category, like specifically about children or families or some other topical issue. Well I guess that's just because it is about me and my life, and quite frankly I don't 'fit into any particular category' either! Never have really. It's ok, now I'm in my 40's I'm loving my life and loving where I am. I'm still trying to fit in to the world, but realising that doing it in my own unique way is perfectly fine. My life is at a crossroad and I'm changing directions, in many ways, sometimes that means I need to try out new avenues and look into different areas than I ever had before. Perhaps that I had scoffed at earlier in life. What I'm realising is that's ok too. It's all ok, because it's my life and it doesn't belong to anyone else, and to be honest no matter how much anyone in your life claims to be a part of your life. The truth is we are all out for ourselves first and foremost. That is the honest truth. If we are damn lucky enough to share our life with someone special, with several special people, then fantastic. We can grow together and if we grow at different rates then we find those people drift away from our lives, this is how it should be. It's a natural progression, you are better off surrounding yourself with people that give meaning to your life and where you are at, than to stagnate and surround ourselves with the same tired old souls - just because. If people are getting you down, then be away from them for a while. Be yourself first and then you can cope so much better with 'others'.
It's a long slow process, but something I am beginning to really enjoy. Life. My life!